Review: Texas Chainsaw 3D

Review: Texas Chainsaw 3D

by Eli Henry

  Hey! Sorry for not posting in awhile (a LONG while... almost 9 months), but I've been busy with several other projects, including short-stories, which you can find on my blog "Eli Wennstrom's Written Works". Don't worry, I do have several new articles on the way here, including one called "Why Insidious is a Remake of Poltergeist", and "O v. R: Evil Dead".

  Anyway, enough introduction: here's my review to the newest chapter in the TCM saga (one which pretends all but the first film don't exist). 

  So, if you'll remember, I was actually pretty excited for TC3D unlike a lot of people. However, I can honestly say I had completely forgotten it was coming out, and when I noticed it'd hit the RedBox movie rental service at the grocery store, I said, out loud, "This came out in theatres?" Despite a few trailers, I had literally neither heard, nor read, nor seen ANYTHING about this move leading up to or after its theatrical release.

  Going into this movie, I remembered how hyped I'd been for it, and having read no reviews I was ready to sit back, relax, and enjoy a good, old-fashioned outing with the Leatherface (now named "Jed" and never referred to as his loving nickname) and the Sawyer family. And although the film starts strong (with some minor problems), it really, really, doesn't remain that way.

  The film begins back in 1974, immediately after the female protagonist's escape in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. A sheriff arrives to the Sawyer home to arrest only Leatherface for the deaths of all of the teen's friends, for some reason. However, there are 5 or 6 new, unexplained additions to the Sawyer household that were never mentioned or implied in the first film to even exist. Anyway, a group of townspeople show up and burn the Sawyer home to the ground, killing everyone inside, except for Leatherface and a mother with her infant child. However, a member of the mob kills her, and adopts the child.

  Fast-forward to 2013, and the child is now inheriting the Sawyer estate. However, this child (which should be 39 at the very least due to her age in 1974) is revealed to be between her late teens and mid-twenties. So, she brings her friends to the estate she's now inheriting so she can look around. Long story short: Leatherface is released from the basement and goes on a murderous rampage (as usual). 

  Now, so far this film doesn't have many huge problems in my opinion; age inconsistencies (among all characters, apparently, since the sheriff is also revealed to have only aged slightly) and not-so-great acting are definitely not insurmountable problems, and the blood and gore effects are great. However, soon the film devolves into making the Sawyer family (the murderous cannibals that are the villains for the entire series of films) relatable and objects for the audience to pity. The protagonist even reveals to Leatherface that she's his relative and they work together to murder townspeople who really are mostly in the right, because even though Leatherface is mentally challenged (that's explicitly stated in this film), he is a CHAINSAW-WIELDING CANNIBAL that just murdered all of her friends! WHAT THE HELL?! The main character's actions make ZERO sense, because although sure, the family that killed the Sawyers in '74 are trying to kill her, it's because she wrote "Murderers" in red marker on a picture of them (for NO reason, might I add), ran from the police station she wasn't even under arrest in, and cut a member of the family across the cheek with a steak knife. The sheriff was even there to protect her, but she chose every bad decision possible for her character, until she murders this family that killed the Sawyers (in front of the sheriff, who lets her and Leatherface go due to some "eye for an eye" B.S.), and decides to live with her retarded murderer cousin from now on, who is somehow now the hero. Wow.

This film makes me sick. 3/10 (and that's just for the gore).